These are not things to do excessively to bring about de-de-death. These are things to do during that time period following the irrevocable realization that your life as you knew it is over.
There comes a time when the cosmos plays a particular dirty trick on you. Not a particularly dirt trick. Lord knows the cosmos has plenty of equally dirty tricks up its sleeves. This particular dirty trick is a certain specific trick. It might look like the following.
Consider what it’s like to lose a life partner — husband or wife. Then, shortly there after you finally have to confront the fact that your reflexes, vision, or other capabilities have been compromised to the point that you can no longer drive. Then, your favorite television show is cancelled. Followed by the further depressing news that a lifelong pet is terminally ill. And to top it all off your favorite restaurant no longer serves that nice rice pudding that you enjoyed so much. You know the one with the special topping.
You’ve heard of the one-two punch. Well this is like the one-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-etc. punch. The blows just keep coming. Anything that seemed to give your life value, purpose, or merit is stripped away.
“Why now, of all times, am I being battered down — further and further. What kind of universe would do this? What the bleep is going on anyway?”
Consider the following answers:
What kind of universe would do this? A compassionate universe.
Why now, of all times? Because time is short and you have some work to do.
What the bleep is going on? You are being given an opportunity to get to work — to shift your attention to a task that has been a hair’s breadth away your whole life.
What is this work? What is this thing that is only a hair’s breadth away?
Rather than answer this directly, let me throw another something into the mix. Today, I happened to be walking down a dirt country road. Nothing unusual in that. I do it several times a day — seven days a week. The thing that was unusual today was a thought that imposed itself while I was walking down said road. This thought goes something like the following: finding out that today might be your last day of life has a way of draining significance from most all activities. What’s the point of going to work to make a paycheck that you will never collect? Why practice piano for a recital you will never give? Why set an alarm clock that you will not hear ring? How important is it to put the dinner leftovers in the frig when there will be no one to warm them up the next day. The certainty of no tomorrow drains away all apparent value from the hubbub of daily activities that we normally take so much for granted.
Yep, that was an odd thought. But wait, and even odder thought was coming right on its heals. What about the situation of someone that discovers they have an eternity of tomorrows? Wouldn’t an endless procession of tomorrows have the same effect? What’s the point of practicing piano today? I could practice tomorrow? And if I do practice day after day, won’t the practice become bone grinding monotonous? The endless future repetition of anything I do today weighs on me like a lead blanket — pressing out any enthusiasm.
A single day and an endless number of days have the same effect — actions lose their ordinary value leaving one with the slap in the face stinging realization that nothing one does much matters any more. The kids don’t call or write. The boss won’t notice if I come into work or not. In fact, I’ve been retired so long it’s hard to remember what it was like to have a job with significant tasks calling to me — even on the weekends.
What about a nice hobby? One could take up a hobby. Aren’t there all of those hobby things that I promised myself I’d get to when I finally had the time? When you say the word enough, the word hobby takes on a very odd sound — hobby ha-bee haaabeee. Very odd sound to it. But that is nothing to the reaction I get when I contemplate actually doing a hobby. Weird, just plain weird.
Well, this doesn’t seem to be getting us any closer to a solution for this getting beat down continued stripping of opportunity for apparent value from our lives. Really how many hours of day time television can you watch without going stark raving looney?
When you find yourself thinking: “given the way things are going I just don’t see the value in living” there is a solution — a simple solution. A solution that a compassionate universe is trying to help you find. That solution is to realize that living your life for you is not the best way to extract value.
Perhaps you have heard of folks that set off on a spiritual quest looking for god. Well god is not playing a game of hide-n-seek and the phrase “look for god” should not be interpreted as seek for god but rather as “see for god.” To see the Kingdom of Heaven it is necessary to see with the eyes of god. The Kingdom of Heaven (sometimes called the Crystal Palace) is here — all around us, all the time. It is just a hair’s breadth away.
As you let god look out through your eyes you will have the vicarious experience of seeing as god sees. Now there is value. There is value in the seeing and there is value in the being seen. There is value in god seeing creation. And there is value in the creation being seen by god. A job that we as human beings can do is to act as a kind of portal — a knot hole in the fence of creation — letting god take a peek at creation.
Making that cup of tea and sipping it on the patio while watching the birds play in the bird bath is important. Not necessarily important for you. But it can be important for god and it can be important for creation. Yeah, you’ve seen a bird a zillion times so it is no big deal for you. But when your vision shifts revealing the Crystal Palace it is a big deal. It is not just you seeing. And, it is not just you being seen. Really, it is not all about you.
The fact that it is not just about me is hard to see when “me” is doing well. When “me” has many friends to see, and “me” has many places to go, and “me” has many important accomplishments to accomplish. When I have too much “me” going on it clouds my vision.
The universe has a cure for too much “me”. It’s called the grinding deprivations of old age. Day after day, yet another part of me is stripped away. Not stripped away by a cruel and heartless universe, stripped away by a compassionate universe that is providing an opportunity to look past me and see the Crystal Palace — to look on behalf of god.
But why couldn’t this have come to me years ago when I had energy and ankle joints that moved without coaxing? Maybe it did and you were either too busy, or had too many competing responsibilities to see it. Now, you have the time, and let’s face it there just aren’t that many responsibilities competing for your attention. So now is the time to do what you can do to live in the Crystal Palace.
There are many possible interpretations of “Die before you die.” One interpretation is to visit the beautiful Kingdom of Heaven now — don’t wait until after you croak, take a little trip each day. If you can get it together to visit once a day that would be a great accomplishment. Perhaps you can visit while weeding the garden, or perhaps you can visit while taking up a new hobby playing the bongos. It doesn’t matter. All vistas in the Kingdom of Heaven are equally grande and are calling out for someone to give god a peek.