10 Questions to Ask Yourself When Creating a Habit

1. What is it that you wish to do?

Set the Intention. Get very clear about what you want to do. If it is to meditate. Then tell yourself “I want to mediate.”

2. How long, how much, how far, how ???

How long, how much, how far, how wide, how loud — whatever parameters make sense? Perhaps something along the lines of “I want to mediate for 20 minutes.” Or, “I want to run 3 miles.”

3. What is this thing you are committing to?

Write down a description of this thing you are intending to do.

It may seem so simple and straightforward that you can’t imagine how writing down a description would help. Good, then it should be easy to write down. Whether it seems obvious to you are not, write down a short description. This will help in the process.

4. What materials and/or equipment are required?

Make a list of all materials and equipment required to do this intended thing. If it requires materials and you don’t have the material — you cannot do it. If equipment is required that you don’t have, then you can’t do it. So take a moment and make a list.

5. What benefit do you expect this thing will have?

In your own words, in words that you understand, answer the following three questions:

  • What benefit will doing this thing be to you?
  • What benefit will doing this thing be to another?
  • What benefit will doing this thing be to your immediate circle (family or friends or others)?

Write these answers down. Again make sure you are using words that make sense to  you. Don’t just repeat phrases you have heard on the topic.

6. When precisely will you do this thing?

No matter what the thing is, if you are going to do it, you will need to do it at some point during the day. So let’s get real and set a time. This time can be dictated by the clock. Or, this time can be dictated by an event. Such as “right before going to bed” or “right after lunch”. The time can even be vague — such as “some time between breakfast and lunch”.

But, there has to be an actual time set to do it.

7. How long will you contract for?

Don’t even dream you can intend to do a new habit for the rest of your life.  It just doesn’t work that way.

Start with something like “a month”, or “until school starts in the fall”, or “for a year”. A year should be the maximum commitment you even dare think about. And even that is way too long. A week or a month is more practical. But, you are the one setting the intention so go for it. Just be sensible.

8. How will you reward yourself?

Yes, you get to reward yourself for following through with your intention today. And, then tomorrow you can reward yourself for following through on your intention tomorrow.

Please note the careful choice of the words “reward yourself” rather than “indulge yourself.” A reward does not have to be an indulgence. And, in fact, an indulgence is a messed up reward — carrying with it baggage you should be dealing with. You have a habit to get started, remember?

Choose something that you’d like to do, that is creative and/or fun.

For example, taking a tour of your house plants checking for bugs and water needs could be a reward. Or, perhaps a brisk walk around the block could be a nice reward. Playing a game with the kids or teaching the pup a new trick.

Be creative in your choice of reward. This can go a lone way in defining the new you.

9. How will you track your progress?

There are many benefits that may come from keeping a record of your progress.

  • Completes the action cycle.
  • Increase your sense of accountability.
  • A nice, confirmation that you are actually doing it.
  • A tangible manifestation of your will.

Given a brief moment we could fill in the list with many more entries. But, really, do you actually need to be convinced that it is a good idea to track your progress? The question wasn’t whether or not you agreed that it is a good idea to track your progress. The question was how specifically are you going to do that?

You can use the traditional crossing out days on the calendar. Or, you can add small river stones  to a bowl. Whatever works for you.

I like the idea of the stones (or marbles, or beads) in a bowl. This makes a decorative record that you can feast your eyes on periodically throughout the day. And just to be clear about it, this is tracking your progress not “judging” it. If you did it you did it. It is best to leave the judgmental voices in the back of your head out of the mix.

10. When are you going to get started?

Whether it is today, tomorrow, or sometime next week, you need to set an official starting date. And then stick to it :)