To illustrate a point, I’d like to represent one’s inner world as a pond. For me when I think of a pond I am reminded of Henry David Thoreau’s Walden Pond. Off the topic at hand, but if you have never encountered the book you may want to give a few portions of it a read.
In any case, we started with the notion of using a pond to represent one’s inner world.
So, moving forward, I’d like to observe that more than a few folks have noticed (and mentioned) the presence of ripples, waves, and darn near tsunamis mucking about on their little pond.
The general presumption is that: “if my pond is unsettled it must be something happening with me.” That is not necessarily the case. There are a variety of potential sources of “winds” that can disturb the surface of your pond:
- What’s happening with you.
- What’s happening with your close circle of friends & family
- What’s happening in the world in general.
The above three could be sub-divided and sub-divided and even sub-divided again to create a full taxonomy. Won’t help. The salient point is that you have these three basic sources of influence on your inner world: you, your close circle, and the world in general.
Before 911, a large number of those folks what I talk to about these kind of topics mentioned independently that something was going on. Mostly this “something going on” was interpreted as “gosh, something has me really upset, wonder if it is that thing I did, or that thing that happened to me, or that worry about something else that happened earlier in my life, or me or me or me.”
Assuming that riled waters on the pond are a result of your own upsets, worries, and other personally derived winds is natural. In fact, thinking that your inner world might be disturbed without a cause and effect chain that runs square through your own psychology is quite foreign to most folks.
But if you cared to pay attention and had the integrity of I to track from moment to moment, then you’d eventually stumble upon evidence that clearly points to outer circumstances (for which you have no personal knowledge) as being possible causes of these inner winds. Oh, you’ll also need to incorporate a little communication.
If I had not been talking with friends prior to 911, I would have assumed that it was all me, and that I must be on the verge of a major psychotic breakdown — cause things were not calm on my pond, not in the slightest. When the planes hit the towers, was the first moment that I had any inkling of the true cause for my growing sense of impending doom.
When a boat moves through the water it leaves a wake in its path — with waves moving out at an angle from the stern (rear) of the boat. You’ve probably seen this. And if you water ski you may have used such a wake as a miniature ski jump.
But, did you know that a boat also has a bow wake. At the front of the boat (bow) the boat will create a wake by pushing water ahead of itself. The bigger the boat the bigger the bow wake. This bow wake does not reach that far ahead of the boat, but it is there. In the same way impending events can create a psychic bow wake. Thus giving us a fourth category of “wind on the water.”
So now we have four major categories of winds that can move the surface of our pond.
- What’s happening with you.
- What’s happening with your close circle of friends & family
- What’s happening in the world in general.
- Psychic bow wake of events to come.
What if any lesson should one take away from this? Well, I suppose the first would be “It is not always you.” Just cause you are feeling upset does not mean that you personally are upset. It could be that someone in your close circle of friends and family is upset, it could be that there is a generalized (more global) upset, or it could even be an upset caused by events that just approaching.
The cycle of “Oh, look, I’m upset” followed by “Heck darn, I’m a psychological mess. I should do something about this” may not be all that productive. If the upset is not coming from you, then how can you possibly change what is happening by applying psychology?
The rampant drive to “fix” things is not necessarily the best approach. :)
Wake up and pay attention is a good place to start. After that you may want to consider that this is not all about you.